14 ways to experience transforming sex while couples are aging (2)
Punch Newspapers / Abdulfatai Ayobami Ibrahim / 28 minutes ago
Funmi Akingbade
Stroke can also impact one’s sense of touch. If this is the case, remind your partner of areas that may be paralysed and ask him or her to approach you in places that are not affected. If a stroke results in weakness or paralysis, different sexual positions or medical devices can make sexual intercourse possible. The missionary position may not be ideal following a stroke, particularly if a man has experienced weakness or paralysis on one side of the body. Instead, consider having sex side by side, with both married partners facing each other and legs interlaced. Also, a position with the affected husband’s partner on top may be best following a stroke.
Eleven … Surgery may cause stress and pain in the short term. However, most elderly couples can resume their normal sex life after surgery—even after genital surgery such as hysterectomy. As women age, few women need a hysterectomy, a surgery in which the uterus is removed, partly, totally or radically. For some wives, a hysterectomy can make sex less painful, which may lead to more orgasms and better sexual satisfaction for women who have fully healed from their surgery. Although about 20 per cent of women report a less pleasurable sex life following hysterectomy. This may be related to whether a woman prefers vaginal or clitoral orgasms. While the surgery is unlikely to impact the nerves that allow for clitoral stimulation, hysterectomies may damage or sever nerves that stimulate the vagina and cervix. It is however advised not to have sex for a period of six weeks or more after a hysterectomy operation. This is also applied to breast surgery.
Twelve … Certain health conditions that men can develop as they age include issue with the prostate, leading to acute urinary retention, urinary tract infection (UTI), hemorrhage or recurrent hematuria, bladder outlet obstruction, or renal insufficiency. These conditions may require surgery to remove all or part of the man’s prostate.  And following surgery, men may develop urinary incontinence or erectile dysfunction (ED, also called impotence). If total removal of the prostate gland is required, there will be problem with erection.
Thirteen … A common cause of sexual problems [this is more pronounced in men] can also be side effects of medications such as blood pressure medications, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilisers, appetite suppressants, diabetes and ulcer drugs. Other drugs can lead to erectile dysfunction (ED, or impotence) or cause difficulty ejaculating in men, and some drugs can cause loss of sexual desire in women. Alcohol in excess can cause erectile problems in men and delayed orgasm in women, especially in old age.
Fourteen …Anxiety over what may not be changed impact older couples’ sex life such as when husband fears that erectile dysfunction (ED) will be a problem, and that worry in itself can trigger episodes of impotence. When wives become concerned that their looks make them less desirable to their husbands, this can affect their enjoyment of sex. In addition to normal daily stressors, older spouses may be concerned about aging, illness, retirement, and other life changes, which can affect performance sexually. But it is possible to have a healthy, active, great sex life as you get older. A key component of that is to maintain a healthy, active body. Exercise, reduce stress, eat a balanced and nutritious diet, drink lots of water and juice and don’t smoke or drink.

Questions and answers

What’s a menstrual cup?
It is not a popular menstrual cycle device, but some researches say they are small, flexible cup made of silicone or latex rubber. Instead of absorbing your flow, like a tampon pad, it catches and collects it. Some types are disposable, but most are reusable; it’s similar to putting a diaphragm or birth control ring in place. Menstrual cups have actually been around since the 1930s; you can leave it for 12 hours unlike tampons that need to be changed every four to eight hours, depending on your flow. But cups can stay in longer, some say it is good for overnight protection and that it holds more menstrual flow. However, most silicone and rubber menstrual cups must be removed before sex. But the soft, disposable ones are designed with sex in mind. They look like a diaphragm, so they’re shaped like a dome (not like the usual bell). Your husband will not feel them and there’s no blood to worry about. People who have used it say there are less offensive odour attached to it.
Menstrual blood can start to smell when it’s exposed to air. But the cup forms an airtight seal. And others say it is safe. Experts say it’s safer than a tampon, because it has a lower risk of toxic shock syndrome, a bacterial infection. And compared with a pad, there’s no chance of chafing or rash. However, it can cause irritation. Some researchers found that cup users had more irritation down there than those who wore tampons. The more they used it, though, the fewer problems. It’s important to wash your hands before inserting your cup, to clean it well between uses, and to empty it two to three times a day. It can also be tough to find the right fit. Cups come in different sizes depending on your age, flow, and whether you’ve had a child. Still, finding the perfect fit can be a challenge, more so if you have a tilted uterus or low cervix. It can take some trial and error, and you could have leaks in the meantime. Removal can get messy — or embarrassing. Even if you find it easy to insert the cup, removing it can be tricky. To sit or squat, you need to use your pelvic floor muscles to push the cup down, then reach up and grab the stem. Pinch the base to break the seal and angle the cup slightly back to keep it from spilling. And if you’re in public, keep in mind you’ll need to wash out the cup in the restroom sink. (As an alternative, one manufacturer suggests bringing a bottle of water with you into the stall and rinsing it out, then wiping clean with toilet paper.) It could interfere with an IUD. Some manufacturers don’t recommend using a menstrual cup if you have an intrauterine device (IUD) inserted, as there’s a chance the cup could pull on the string or dislodge it. But a 2012 study found no evidence of this. Still, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor before combining the two.
Must I suck on his scrotal balls?
 My husband recently asked me to pay more attention to his scrotal balls when we make love. I do play with them, but I think he wants me to suck them, too because of the way he normally pushes my head towards that place. I have never heard of this before; must it be until I put his scrotal balls into my mouth that he will feel sexually satisfied?  Do you have any advice? I want to please him.
  Your husband’s request is far from unusual. Sucking on his testicles can make for an incredibly sensational experience — and you will double his pleasure if you simultaneously fondle his shaft. Next time you are giving him the action, take a sexy detour and move your mouth from his mouth: or wherever your mouth has been before to his penis and his testicles. Swirl the tip of your tongue around his scrotum i.e. the loose sac of skin that surrounds the testicles. Then, lick his balls with long, sweeping strokes as if you were savouring a delicious ‘pepper-soup bowl’. Mix it up and intermittently purse your lips and suck softly on the skin or take each testicle all the way into your mouth.
Once you have worked him into passion, switch back to sensuously licking his penis as you gently handle his balls. Some husbands like it a little rough, but this can be a supersensitive area, so find out how hard he wants to be touched before applying more muscle. One strategic trick that is sure to send him reeling: use your finger to gently rub his perineum (the nerve-packed patch of skin that is between his scrotum and his anus) and you are likely to launch him into orgasmic orbit.
 What precautions should be taken while having a sexual intercourse with a bent penis?
I am a man of 45years; I got married a few months ago. Please, what precaution should be taken while having sexual intercourse with a bent penis? This has been a bad stigma on me since I became aware of it. In fact, it has prevented me from being around ladies because of embarrassment but thank God, the woman I married understands and accepted me the way I am but we have been unable to have sex since. I am afraid the penis may break or lead to cancer after continuous usage.
 Mr. Aberdeen Biobaku
Some curvature of the penis during erection is normal, Although, too much curvature may be a sign of Peyronie’s disease, which is caused by scar tissue within the erectile tissue of the penis. Contrary to popular belief, Peyronie’s disease is not caused by a sexually transmitted disease, cancer, nor does it contribute to high risk of infertility. With or without Peyronie’s disease, if one has significant curvature of the penis, it is advisable to avoid very vigorous thrusting during sex. Not only could this be painful and harmful to you, it could be painful for your wife. It’s a good idea, too, to become familiar with sexual positions that make insertion easier. If this is not taken into consideration, you may likely experience a penile fracture. Positions like ‘stand to deliver’ ‘horse riding’ ‘doggy style’ ‘royal rumble’ Amsterdam red carpet’ may not be ideal for you. Rather missionary position and its varieties will help you a greater deal. The most important thing is to take care during intercourse if you have significant curvature of the penis.
Sex with my husband has not only been scary but bloody
Can a guy’s large penis make one bleed lightly after sex? Is it okay to have sex with a man who has a swelling on one side of his penis? I noticed that sex with my man has not only been scary but bloody and I am not a virgin. Though we visited a doctor who said the swelling is just a harmless cyst,  must I be the one to suffer for this, because each time we make love, despite prolonged foreplay, it hurts. I feel like my vagina is stretching from the effect of his big penis and the swelling, I also bleed slightly and each time he enters into me, I have these unusual feelings. Please help!!!
Theresa Ijimkela
 If this is an innocent skin cyst on the shaft of his penis and has been diagnosed by a medical professional, this should not disturb your sexual activities. But from the look of things, this swelling is posing a psychosomatic problem for you, that is why you are having “an unusual feeling;” its presence worries you. Then encourage him to take it off. This cyst (often sebaceous cysts) can be easily removed. Alternatively, you can use a condom; this will help decrease the friction. Besides, this might also be because you don’t have sex regularly. If you do, the pain and bleeding will reduce drastically. This is because the vaginal area is very vascular and can bleed with minor trauma. Sexual intercourse can create just enough localised trauma to cause light bleeding. This is just like a minor nose bleed.
 Is it normal for urine or semen to leak after sex or any time?
After my spouse and I have intercourse, his semen tends to leak out long after making love. He had a prostate surgery sometimes ago and came out fine, but he can’t go out without using condom to prevent urine leaking from his penis. Could this be the reason for our infertility problems?
  Aisha Yaloko
Let us tackle it one after the other. First, the semen dripping out after sex; it’s either one of two things, it may be the remaining sperm left in his urethra after sex that is dripping off which is normal, or he may have a weak muscle at the neck of his penis. If the dripping of semen is always with or without sex, he definitely has a weak muscle at the neck of his penis. Kegel exercise will cure this if there are no other organic issues, Kegel exercise is just a simple but consistent exercise that can be practised anytime and anywhere. This will help also to give him stronger ejaculations, help pump blood into his penis, hence improve your sex life. Secondly, if urine drips off to the extent that he has to wear a coshould re-visit the place his prostate surge